Heart felt ....

Amongst all the bitterness and cynicism that I have found myself enshrouded in lately, I made the surprising discovery tonight that I; do, indeed, possess a functional heart! Not in the anatomical sense of course, that discovery was made quite a few years ago in fact, but in the spiritual/metaphorical sense; I have an organ that generates feelings for the rest of mankind .... and this is after chanting my mantra for a good hour and a half: "I hate humans .... we're a sick fucking cosmic joke .... we've screwed the world up ... we suck .... I hate us." What spurred on this discovery you may well ask? A movie titled "Crash". I'm not even going to try to explain it, Heavens forbid I do it that disservice. Only enough to say it's one of those human ensemble dramas which is becoming more prevalent in mainstream cinema. It follows the thread of about 9 different lives as they intersect through day-to-day life in Los Angeles. And what it set out to do it did, and did well. Those that know me know that I don't emote easily, well I'm quick to anger and jump to the defence, but I'm much slower to sympathize and very rarely do I cry - either for myself or for others.... I cried tonight. This movie took me everywhere, I was sad and happy and scared and shocked and angry and guilty. And it did it so beautifully, I was engaged so thoroughly I felt I was right there with every single character. I walked out of that theatre with my friend having learnt something about myself, and physically feeling ill for every discrimination or automatic stereotype I had ever created. And by the end I had found that deep down I still have a little spark of hope left for humanity.

Giving out free hugs people, the walls are down for one night only .... "come and get 'em!"